Showing Up For Yourself
In the grand scheme of life and all the twists and turns, it is more than possible to forget about you. I, too, am a victim of my own self-deprivation. I can hyper-focus so intently on the needs of my little one, my husband, my business…so forth and so on, that I find myself at the bottom of the well yelling for someone … anyone to help me out.
But last year, something happened to me. In fact, it still is happening. A hunger for more out of life smacked me over the head after losing my uncle Brent and my close friend Jen.
My uncle’s death was sudden. Acute congestive heart failure. Jen’s was not. You see, she had cancer. We had known for a little less than a year and kept praying and hoping that she would claim victory over it . But she didn’t. She died at the age of 42. Too young. Only a few years older than me. And just the mere thought of her youth and all that she would never got to see or do… crushed me.
Both of those deaths shook me to my core. Moreso because both my uncle and friend were fierce lovers and givers. They both would give you the shirt off their backs. But I’m not sure that many people gave them the flowers they deserved… while they were here. It’s normal to talk about people and how much they meant to you once they are gone… but what about loving on them while they can feel your love and adoration.
So now, I am on a journey to do better for myself. Show up for me. Because I don’t want to wait to pass away to receive the flowers, light and love that I freely give to others. I will take care of myself, so I won’t resent others for not showing up when I need them to.
No, I am not on a quest to be selfish. But I am on one to make sure that I keep filling my own cup, so that I have enough to give to others.
Reflecting on the first half of this year, I have made a point to do the following things to love myself deeper:
Getting a sleep study to address my snoring habits. Turns out I have sleep apnea ( I’ll address that in another post.)
Making more strides to enjoy my time and be in the moment.
Dressing up more often even though I am not feeling my best self in my body. I am beautiful, regardless. You are too, sis.
Making a concerted effort to work out and lose the weight.
Saying “no” more often.
Protecting my peace and boundaries.
Focusing on systems that make my life and workload easier.
Taking photos of myself and enjoying my body with the extra weight.
Asking for help more often to avoid being overwhelmed.
I know it is going to take more effort and time to see the changes I really want to see. But I’m not waiting for anyone to be my HERO. I’ve got take the matters of my life and love for myself into my own hands.
Sound like something you are dealing with, sis? Make a list of things that will help you show up for yourself more often. You will live a fuller life when you learn to fill your own cup… with water… wine… or whatever your life vice is. I’m cheering you on.
In the meantime,
Shine Canfidently and Embrace the Quirks
Garesia