To Arrive at Canfidence: What’s Holding You Back ?

Photo by: Farryn Cortes Photography

Just. Do. It.

Three little words that have a lot of us in a chokehold. Or maybe it’s just me.

These three words have the power to move the needle if acted upon with care and diligence.

“It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard.” My girl Lauryn was on to something. She had to have been talking about more than love on that verse.

At the core of most of us, we want to set out to accomplish great and meaningful things. And it all looks differently for each of us.

But what happens when you just don’t feel like it? What happens when you don’t feel equipped or ready to do the “Thing” you know you should be doing? What happens when your motivation is on vacation with no signs of returning any time soon? What happens when life is “lifeing,” and it won’t let you be great?

Or how about when Fear brings along his ghetto friends, Doubt and Pride, to your pity party?

In most cases, we let belief and circumstances hold us hostage. So we just don’t know anything at all.

Wait actually, we do a little something- something. In most cases, I have found that we get excited about the planning. We buy the planners, the cute pens and sticky notes. We feel like we can conquer the world with stationary and a laptop. That’s gotta count for something, right?

But when it comes down to the process, we freeze up. Talking about the work is literally easier said than done. The initial excitement that we have about getting things done or executing an idea consumes us like a fire. We are ready to just go for it. But somewhere along the way, we lose touch with that excitement. And if the work is too hard,or requires too many sacrifices/ too much discipline, or we get overwhelmed, we quit. Am I talking to anyone?

This very piece of writing has been sitting in my drafts for months. I kept blaming  time as the culprit. It is actually just me. I’m the drama. I don’t have an excuse.

So what’s your point, Shay?

Don’t rob yourself of the harvest by neglecting the work. Don’t focus on perfection. Focus on productivity. That’s the only way to arrive at Canfidence. Canfidence is knowing you CAN do all things through God’s strength and provision. ( Philippians 4:13)

We often waste time and opportunity on perfection, second-guessing and doubt. I don’t know if you know this, but courage comes AFTER you do the scary, tough thing. So do it scared. No matter what it is.

Want to write a book, start a business, go back to school, lose weight, find your work-life balance, move to a foreign country to start a new life or adventure? You CAN. You just have to get started. And then stick with it.

I am starting a new challenge today that requires some crazy discipline and consistency. But I am up for the challenge. Because quite honestly, I am tired of breaking promises to myself, God and those I love. It’s “go-time.”

Whatever is on your heart, I am praying that you grab hold to some Canfidence and let the Lord do what He does best - make things shift and happen.

You’ve Got This! I’ll be sharing more about my personal challenge in the days and weeks to come. Completing this challenge will result in something that will pour into myself AND you ladies. And guess what, someone else is waiting for you to finish what you started, so they can benefit from the fruit. It would be a shame for you to keep them waiting.

In the Meantime,

Shine Canfidently and Embrace the Quirks

Love Your Mane More

A healthy relationship with your hair is contingent upon you really getting to know it and caring for it based on what it likes or needs.

So why am I bringing this up? As my client, I want you to get to know your hair better and embrace your crown more often. And of course, I'm here to help with that. Many of you are looking for a style that is convenient, cute and fits your lifestyle. Trust me, I get it. But there are quite a few natural hairstyles on my menu that will allow you to fall in love with your natural texture or even discover a new favorite style. Here are some examples of some styles that can give your mane some TLC and a break from protective styles at the same time:

• Wash and go

• Finger coils

• Perm rod or Flexi rod set

• Silk press

• Two strand twists

• Tapered cut with style

• Flat twists

If this sounds like something your mane is in need of, I'm here to guide you through this process. Let's chat at your next appointment with me. You can also send me a message to let me know you are interested.

Until Next Time,

Shine Canfidently and Embrace the Quirks

Garesia “Shay”

Showing Up For Yourself

In the grand scheme of life and all the twists and turns, it is more than possible to forget about you. I, too, am a victim of my own self-deprivation. I can hyper-focus so intently on the needs of my little one, my husband, my business…so forth and so on, that I find myself at the bottom of the well yelling for someone … anyone to help me out.

But last year, something happened to me. In fact, it still is happening. A hunger for more out of life smacked me over the head after losing my uncle Brent and my close friend Jen.

My uncle’s death was sudden. Acute congestive heart failure. Jen’s was not. You see, she had cancer. We had known for a little less than a year and kept praying and hoping that she would claim victory over it . But she didn’t. She died at the age of 42. Too young. Only a few years older than me. And just the mere thought of her youth and all that she would never got to see or do… crushed me.

Both of those deaths shook me to my core. Moreso because both my uncle and friend were fierce lovers and givers. They both would give you the shirt off their backs. But I’m not sure that many people gave them the flowers they deserved… while they were here. It’s normal to talk about people and how much they meant to you once they are gone… but what about loving on them while they can feel your love and adoration.

So now, I am on a journey to do better for myself. Show up for me. Because I don’t want to wait to pass away to receive the flowers, light and love that I freely give to others. I will take care of myself, so I won’t resent others for not showing up when I need them to.

No, I am not on a quest to be selfish. But I am on one to make sure that I keep filling my own cup, so that I have enough to give to others.

Reflecting on the first half of this year, I have made a point to do the following things to love myself deeper:

• Getting a sleep study to address my snoring habits. Turns out I have sleep apnea ( I’ll address that in another post.)

• Making more strides to enjoy my time and be in the moment.

• Dressing up more often even though I am not feeling my best self in my body. I am beautiful, regardless. You are too, sis.

• Making a concerted effort to work out and lose the weight.

• Saying “no” more often.

• Protecting my peace and boundaries.

• Focusing on systems that make my life and workload easier.

• Taking photos of myself and enjoying my body with the extra weight.

• Asking for help more often to avoid being overwhelmed.

I know it is going to take more effort and time to see the changes I really want to see. But I’m not waiting for anyone to be my HERO. I’ve got take the matters of my life and love for myself into my own hands.

Sound like something you are dealing with, sis? Make a list of things that will help you show up for yourself more often. You will live a fuller life when you learn to fill your own cup… with water… wine… or whatever your life vice is. I’m cheering you on.

In the meantime,

Shine Canfidently and Embrace the Quirks

Garesia